Are you struggling with chores alone, like I am? I’m talking about picking up after messy children everyday and nagging at them to clean up, to no avail. I felt resentful everyday until it got to a point that I'm thinking I have ungrateful, unkind and irresponsible children.
THAT IS NOT TRUE! (I refuse to believe it).
Even if our kids' actions may say they lack a sense of responsibility or awareness of how hard they make parents work, we must remember that this is not a permanent or a fixed trait.
Our kids can be trained. When we change their actions (and they understand our intentions), their feelings, attitudes and character will change accordingly as well.
The research says if we want to raise responsible, well-adjusted and happy kids, we should give them chores to do around the house (see conclusions from Harvard's Grant and Glueck Study)!
Reasons we need to have our kids do chores in the home:
Kids know they are essential members of the family and we all pull our weight in making the place nice and pleasant for everyone to live in.
It leads children to know they are part of a larger community and what they do (or don't do) matters.
Chores give children an opportunity to build mastery over a skill and this gives them confidence.
Give kids the same chore for a month (or more) so they have chances to fail, to learn, to get better. They become the expert at dishwashing or mopping floors, and it will surprise you how good they get after 30 days!
Build good work ethics
Are chores fun? Probably not! They are often hard and dirty work that is repetitive, boring and tedious. Doing chores help children know how to delay gratification in a tangible way.
- Of course, the most obvious one - to lighten mummy's load! 😉 Plus, I’d like to earn my future daughter-in-law’s eternal gratitude that my son is well-trained to do chores around the house.
I've helped plan for youth camps in the past. Anyone working with youths will tell you, after a camp, there are always a lot of sparks flying because of all the time spent working and playing together. 😍
So 1 thing I used to tell my youths, you want to separate out the merely handsome/pretty from those few good guys/girls who are willing to get their hands dirty, who will take out the trash, wash the dishes, wake up early to prepare and serve breakfast, get sooty to start the bbq fire - basically dirty chores that no one wants to do because they aren't glamorous or fun. The willingness to do chores reveal character. After all, marriage is pretty much asking "what do want to eat" and also, "who's washing the dishes?" 😉
So ya... basically my BGR advice was to find someone you don't mind eating with for the rest of your life and someone who's willing to share your load making a home. Haha, is this sound advice? Hm.. I shall ask my youths who are now married 🤣.
How about you? Will you start assigning your kids chores around the house?